Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Updated!

So, I've been asked what happened to my blog.

Nothing happened to it.
It's been sitting here all along, I just haven't put anything on it.

Why?

Uhmm... Probably laziness and a lack of interesting stories to tell.
I promise* to pick up my act a bit from now on.

Still friends?

Good.






* Lie

Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Day in the Life of

I'm blogging from work today.

I wonder if there's any policy about that?
I'll go check.

I looked under B for Blogging, there was nothing there. Must be fine.

It's 10am and I've run out of work to... Oh wait, Gerrard the delivery guy is on his way in.
I'll be back in a second.


I'm back. It's now 10:27am
I'm trying very hard not to think about my sociology exam this afternoon.
I'm hoping for a heap of questions on social theories and very little on globalisation or urbanisation.

It's now 10:40am. The music in this shop is awful! Did you know that there is a person in Melbourne whose sole job is to put together these mix CDs? Yep, it's true.
One song sounds like someone has just hit the demo button on an old Cassio.
I wish someone would fire this person already.

It's now 11:16am. I've just checked the policies and procedures manual. I am under no circumstances allowed to play my own chioce of music at work.
I don't really understand why not, I mean, maybe if the last elderly lady who walked in here, rather than hearing some boring guy squark on about love, had of heard Trent Reznor growling about how he wants to fuck her like an animal and how he wants to feel her from the inside, just maybe she would have felt pretty good and just maybe wouldn't have blamed me for that jacket not fitting properly.

It's 11:36am!
My legs feel like steel right now.
I've moved house again, so I've had to find a new walking/jogging route.
A friend suggested Willins Hill via Beauty Point rd.
I accepted that challenge.
For those unfamiliar with Wagga, Beauty Point Rd is almost vertical.
The feeling you get from climbing that thing is somewhere between knowing that you're alive and wishing that you were dead.
I'm going climb it again after my exam today just because I like to punish myself.

I get off on that sorta shit.


It's 12:05pm and my coffee's gone cold.

It's now 12:17pm and there is woman sitting out side the shop staring at me.
I'm feeling very self conscious, so i've started looking up at the computer every few seconds so that it looks like I'm using the calculator and I'm hard at work.

12:27pm.
I've run out of things to clean.



12:36pm and the staring woman has come into the shop looked at some scarves and walked out.


It's now 1:25pm. My exam starts in 35 mins. I'm shoveling left over Indian food into my face. QUICK define Agency!


1:29pm 
Agency can be described as the ability of an individual to shape and influence their own lives and place in society.
I wasn't going to have one... but stuff it, I'm nervous. I'm going to roll a smoke.
I'm down to two a day. Don't judge me!


4:01pm
Exam is over. The next time I need to write an 800 word paper, I'm going to lock myself in an empty room for two hours. That worked a treat!

5:53pm oooo! Dinner at the Tolland tonight then off to the Thirsty Crow to get my drink on. It's been a very long time.

(Not too much of a drink on, though. Not when I have to open the shop in the morning.)


7:05pm and I've won the meat pack at the Tolland! 
Yesssss!


Well, it's 8:23pm and I'm waiting to hear if any of my friends are still planning on going out tonight. I'd really like to go out and have a drink. It's been.. um... well, the last time I went out for a drink with friends was the end of March. 
Hurry up and text, people!
On a different note, I was driving home from my exam today and saw a kid who looked exactly like the 16 year old, male version of me. 
Oh dad, you rascal.

So, now it's 8:54 and I've decided not to go out as I have only $17 to last the fortnight. Ouch!  
At least my car is now registered.
Thank goodness for the meat pack!! 
Time to look for a night job!


9:13pm. Just taught my landlord the word "Dongle "


9:42pm. I'm laying in bed with my computer, Internet stalking one of my friends - with permission of course. (Found your old MySpace page!)


It's 11:41pm. It's almost Saturday. I'm drifting in and out of sleep. Gotta open the shop in the morning, better get out of my work clothes and go to bed.

Monday, May 30, 2011

None of that pretend woman around here

Tentacle Threads asked if they could use my profile pic (Taken by the one and only, Rory Madigan) on their fan page:



That's right, people.

I'm A Real Woman


(All the Tentacle Threads models must be robots or something. I was pretty convinced that they were all real women also, but I guess I'm easy fooled.)



Sunday, May 22, 2011

Anton the mole

My pop digs holes in the ground.

Not just small holes in which to plant things, but large holes.
Holes big enough to live in.
The first hole I remember was on his empty block next to Rawlings Park in Lake Albert.
There was just this little shed in the middle of the block and in this shed was a door leading to a hole in the ground.
I remember it as the place where my dad stored his pictures of naked ladies on nice cars. My favorite was the red car.
There was always a lot of bugs down there.
My pop has had a few holes in the ground. My nan rolls her eyes when they are brought up in conversation.
The most recent hole in the ground is out near Yass somewhere. Pop and his wife Evelyn lived in it for a while before moving to another town (Not only is my pop a mole, but a gypsy. He never stays in the same town for long.)
My stepmum, Deb, says to drive past it, it just looks like a block of land covered in rubbish, but once you get underground, it's lovely!
She laughed, "There's even one of those moving framed pictures of a rain forest on the wall that they pretend is a window!"
I'm told by my dad that my pop can't sell his' holes in the ground because he doesn't get council permission to build them, so he just has these blocks of land all over the countryside.

I read a short Miiler family history written by one of my aunts that gave me a little bit of an explanation as to why my pop likes holes in the ground. When he was a child, his family were waiting at a train station when a bunch of planes flew over and bombed the place. His father threw him into a bunker/hole in the ground and they survived. This may or may not be the reason, but it makes sense.
(Another story found in this book was the story of when my aunt Draga was held at gun point by a german soldier, demanding she give him a horse that belonged to her employer. When we asked Pop about this, he miss understood what we were asking and exclaimed "I didn't point the gun at her head! I pointed it at the ground!"
No one had mentioned him or where the gun was pointed.)

Holes in the ground is just one of many unusual aspects of my Pop;


My Pop is an avid Jehovah's Witness who preaches to everyone he meets. He wasn't born into this religion or converted by anyone, he went shopping for the religion that offered the best afterlife, and J-Hos were the way to go, apparently.


In Croatian, my name sounds like the word for "shit". In the couple of birthday/christmas cards I've received from Pop in my life, he has spelt my name the "Croatian way"


Pop has always been one for money making schemes. One in particular, I was told about recently, featured him putting my dad in a room full of telephones and making him place bets all day. He's also quite the hoarder, only not small things, like ornaments or furniture, but big things like truck parts and sections of houses.

Pop's first name was originally spelt Antun, but he had it changed because he was tired of it being misspelled

The family's surname was originally Miiler, but he also had this changed for the same reason, only now, he tells me, people spell it with an A instead of an E.



I only see my pop once every few years, but the times I do see him, it's always very entertaining.












Monday, May 16, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Damn you, Daily Advertiser!

DA: Hi. We're form the Daily Advertiser. May we ask you a quick question?

Me: Sure.

DA: How are you handling the recent mouse plague?

Me: Well, my housemate owns a cat, so we don't really have an issue with  
        mice.

DA: Can we put your answer in the paper?

Me: Uhmm... Sure.
        But only if it's worded "Nibbler the cat takes care of that".

DA: Hahaha! Sure thing!








Not quite.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Adam's 18th Birthday

So, it has now become tradition that when each of my brothers turns eighteen, I take them out for lunch and get them a tattoo...




































Saturday, April 30, 2011

Saturday


I could get used to this...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Brothers in Love pt.II

I visited my nan today. My mum and brother, Adam were over visiting also.
I asked mum if she'd read my blog recently and brought up the "books in the bedroom" story, to which she replied:
"Oh, I was pretty certain that Kane was gay well before the books."

To anyone who may feel as though my mother "suffered" (hehehe...) during our adolescence, don't be, because believe me, she gave as good as she got!
Today, a particular story was brought up that reminded me of this.

Back when I was probably about 15, I went to grab some groceries with mum.
I can't exactly remember what she did for me to say this, but on our way out of the shop, I laughed and called her a "retard".
Next thing I heard the grocery bags drop. She had thrown her self to the ground. When I turned to see what had happened she started flailing her arms and legs, calling out "Helwp me, Sairwahh!!  HELWWWP!!"
I tried to pull her up, but she wouldn't stop.
"Oh my god, Mum!! stop it!!"
"Sairwahhh!!!"
"Stop it, Mum, everyone's looking!"
"Stop hurting me, Sairwaah!!!"

I left her there and stormed off to the car.
She got up, brushed herself off, picked up the groceries like nothing had happened and we went home.

Mum and Rob were pretty gifted when it came to embarrassing us and we pretty good at... uhmm... making their lives interesting.

(One day I'll tell the "Pantry Man" story)






Brothers in Love

At one point or another during our adolescence, my brothers (on my mother's side) and myself had received the "I don't care if you're gay, I'll still be proud of you" speech from my mother.
(Actually, come to think of it, I believe I given this speech more than once.)
The speech never came out of no where, we could always predict when it was on its way.
The signs were pretty obvious.
It would start with mum asking one of us if they'd noticed anything about the other




then she'd start taking interest in who we were hanging around




 then she would start snooping around for evidence.


...and would sometimes find other things...



As a teenager, my brother, Kane was very close to his best friend, Doug.
Kane and Doug did everything together...

Watched soccer together


Watched cricket together


Watched Bruce Lee movies together




In fact, they even played "The Sims" together. When they played The Sims, the first thing they would do after creating their characters, was to make their characters fall in love.When asked about this, Kane would respond "We're not gay. We're brothers in love!"


During this time I used to go to the pub quite a bit. The particular pub I went to was across the road from an adult shop. Every Thursday afternoon, after class, my drinking friends would put together their spare change, pick a theme and I'd be sent across the road to find an "adult" object befitting the theme. This was called "The Risque Run". One particular Risque Run, I was given the colour purple as my theme. The only affordable item I could find was a stack of 30 year old, man-on-man fantasy novels with purple covers decorated with sketches of buff dudes with MASSIVE penises, with titles like "Loves Second Cumming". So I took them back to the pub and we had a bit of a read.
A few weeks later, Kane expressed concern that Mum may be questioning his sexuality.
We both decided that maybe we should just let her think that.

The next family visit, I took the "Risque Run" books with me and Kane and I "hid" them through his bedroom. (I especially liked the one under the pillow - nice touch, Kane)

As you would imagine, the plan worked, and from what I can remember, when confronted, Kane gave Mum a bit of a "serves you right" response.
I didn't hear much more about it after that... well, until Adam was a teenager. (Mum didn't have to do much snooping with Adam. Referring to other boys as "sexy" kinda sealed that deal for a while.)

As for the books, I visited one afternoon, not long after, to find Kane and his girlfriend, sitting back, reading them aloud to one another.

Yes. Kane had a girlfriend. Apparently that didn't weigh too heavily on Mum's gay-or-not-gay scales.




Friday, April 22, 2011

Thursday nights

...are usually a terrible time to work as not a lot of people go clothes shopping after 7pm and I can only clean and restock so much.
Last night though...


I received flowers, mutherfuckers!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Blogs to come

Alright. I should really go to bed now, I'm opening the shop in the morning and I need to be there a half hour early so I can drink coffee on the bench out the front and stare at traffic. It's becoming a ritual.

Now, I know I've just been blogging crap lately (pfffft. Just lately?) but that's because I've had a lot of uni work to catch up on and I couldn't justify drawing when I should be studying - even really terrible drawings.
During this time I have had one hundred and one ideas for things I would like to blog about, so over the next few weeks you should see more terrible drawings and stupid stories.
Stories will include:


  • My paternal grandfather is weird
  • How I imagine my solo trip to dad's house this weekend is going to go down
  • Embarrassing moment at the news agency last Thursday
  • The tale of the "Disobedient Falcon"
  • How much I hate Jon Bon Jovi
  • Why I should be a Photoshop tutor (for people who like their tutorials rushed and with swearing and who don't wish to learn anything)


Okay. Looking forward to writing those.
I'm going to bed now.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Awww...

< sad face > I'm very lonely this evening < / sad face >




Update: Suni and Damian had only gone to the shop, not out for the night. Suni is making a beautiful dinner with roasted chestnuts, Damian poured us all glasses of wine with hibiscus flowers and I made caramel popcorn. 
So, stop your sooking, Sarah and listen to some Devin Townsend Project: 






P.S - Thank you, Zen, for introducing me to this. You're right. This album is pretty awesome.




Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Sarah! Stop blogging and finish your essay!

Shut up. It's lunch time.
(Suni's 70 year old microwave is unbelievable! New microwaves don't even compare!)

So, I'm in the middle of my essay on consumption (Economic consumption. Not tuberculosis.) and I'm getting a bit shitted off with having to back up every point I make.
Now, I am aware of the importance of showing support for my statements, I just don't feel like it's always necessary. Maybe I need to stop assuming that every point I bring up is obvious to everyone and just get on with it.
On the other hand, I would like to think some day in the distant future, students will be quoting from me in their essays:

...in western societies today, we find the individual attempting to construct an identity through the products that they purchase, aspiring toward the luxurious lifestyles seen on television and in magazines. This is because "people are dumb-arses, myself included" (S. Miller, 2015, pg. 23).


Whelp. Better get back to it.
I have a particularly humorous/embarrassing story from this morning I would like to tell, but it needs poorly drawn pictures. I've promised myself that I wont tell that story until my essay is finished, so expect that some time in the future.

Bye.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Locked in Wednesday

I have an essay to complete and promised that I would finish it tomorrow.
Suni has told me that she will be bolting all the doors when her and Damian leave in the morning so that I can't leave the house and have to finish it.
I'm sure I wouldn't mind any interruptions, though.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Yessss!


Found Kane's blog 

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Starting Now!

I have three days off.
Three full days in a row.
It's been a very long time.



Saturday Afternoon Screen Printing



Drawing my t-shirt design.  An appropriation of René Magritte's 
“The Treachery of Images (This Is Not a Pipe)” 



Suni cutting her "Nibbler Paw" design



My half cut design



Suni's shirt ready to be painted



My shirt ready to be painted



Suni's finished "Nibbler Paw" shirt



My finished Magritte/Mario shirt 



Friday, April 8, 2011

Sarah, it's 1am. You have work in 10hrs. Go to bed.

I'm currently in the middle of what could be, what I would consider, my best ever illustration.
Now looking at it, I don't think I could bring myself show it to anyone because it contains imagery that I would wouldn't want the people I know to see, and its concept is something I'd rather not have to explain.

Way to go, idiot.
Now it will just sit and rot in a folder.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fffffffff........

Me: What did you think of the cardigan?

Customer: I don't even know why I come in here! How do you manage to sell anything?!
You give your tops the most ridiculous arms! They're stupidly long!
Why would anyone want to wear a top like that?! It looks hideous!
What makes you think people are going to buy something like that?
Tell me why! Why do you make the arms so long?!


Well, lady, while I was sitting there, personally designing and sewing all the clothes for Brown Sugar Australia, I thought to my self, "Gee, I think the women of today need a longer sleeve! I can't imagine any woman would want to be able to use their hands. I will make them a spastically long sleeve and they will buy my tops and I will make a million dollars!". 

No.

One style of cardigan has a long sleeve.
It was designed to be folded back.
Also, did you know that some women have longer arms than others?
It's true.
It's also much easier for a shorter armed woman to roll back a sleeve than a longer armed woman to add extra fabric.
Did you also know that I, personally, do not design and manufacture the items that we sell?
If I did, I would probably be just a little too busy to give a crap whether or not you liked the item that you tried on. 
As much as I would like to be, I'm just not that talented.
If you like the cardigan but do not like the sleeve length, I can recommend a seamstress to make alterations for you.
In fact, the four of us here all know how to sew and two of the women here are qualified seamstresses. 
We could, and on occasion, do, make those sorts of alterations.
If you would like to make suggestions to the company on how you would prefer the sleeve length of a cardigan, I am more than happy to help you get your message to them.
If not...

Go. Somewhere. Else.




And this has been the latest installment of....



Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Chocolate and Rainbow Gradient


To my dearest Lady-who-serves-me-at-Brumby's,
                                                                              For almost twelve months now, you have provided me with excellent service. From your welcoming smile to your knowledge of where to locate nutritional information. 
I write to you this evening to inform you that at 1:55pm today, you broke my heart. 
Over the time I have visited your store, I have been served by a large number of clueless children. I have shrugged off their lack of product knowledge (even the time I was told that there was no Pane Di Casa left, when I could clearly see at least four), knowing that the next time I visit the store, I can rely on you to give me what I'm looking for. 
Today's visit, I just asked for something small, like a hot cross bun. You asked what kind I would like. I said "Just a traditional". You asked if I had tried a flavored one with chocolate. I told you that I'm not fussed on chocolate. You suggested I try an orange bun, just for something new. I thought "Why not." and took it back to work.
At work I took a bite.
It didn't taste like orange hot cross bun.
It tasted like betrayal!
The bun was laced with chocolate buds!!
I said that I wasn't fussed on chocolate!
Why would you offer me something that I just expressed disinterest in?!
I thought we had a good thing going!
I thought that there was an unspoken Sales-People-Who-Know-Their-Product bond going on!
Why would you do this to me?!
Things are never going to be the same. 
I'm never going to be able to trust your opinion again!
I wont be asking for your advice in the future.


I'm sorry things had to end this way.


      Sarah


Well, I had a pretty shit house day up until 3:30pm, today. The chocolate in the bun was really the icing on the cake.
Luckily, though, I was saved by Rory.


Dear Rory,


Thank you for taking me out for coffee. 
Laughing about shit design/Jam Media really brightened my day!
"Comic Sans isn't even a font..." was one of the funniest lines I've heard in ages. 
I really wish you would write a design blog!
Next time is my shout,


   Sarah


Oh, and while I'm here, one more letter to  a little someone who walked past yesterday.

Dear Clint,
I'm sorry I called you "Pascoe's Bitch".
Please stop looking at me in sad-face.
I still stand by what I wrote, even if I was a tad inebriated.
Don't get upset. Prove me wrong.

Lots of Lovc


Sarah

Monday, April 4, 2011

Queen B

So, I didn't get around to answering the Theme song question, myself.
If I could make any song my theme song, it would be:


Queen B - Puscifer
(I didn't put a link to the official clip because of how unimpressed I am with it. The idea is there, it's just executed poorly - The imagery is very Maynard, though)


I certainly don't view my self as the woman he's humming about, but it's just such a sexy song, I would just love to play it every day.


Funnily enough, the other night at the bottle shop, I came across this:



Queen Bee - Baily & Baily 

It's a desert wine called Queen Bee. I'm pretty sure it was created especially for consumption by me as it is both delicious and in my price range.

So, ummm... yeah. That's the story about my theme song.
I'm probably just going to go back to drawing, now. I should be writing my Communication essay, but I just got an urge to draw, today, and I while I've got it, I'm not going to fight it.

Bye.

Nibbler - pt.1

Heyguesswhat!
Did you know that I'm living with Suni and Damiano?
It's true!
'Know who else I live with?
Nibbler!
Nibbler has been very gracious, allowing me to stay at his house.
He knows this.

This morning I was reading the news before my shower when...