Juliet pt. 2

I walk to work.
It's over an hour's walk, so I'm always trying to find short cuts.
Last night I dreamt that I had found a short cut.
Turns out that if I were to walk through someone's house and their back yard I would get to work a lot quicker.
So I knocked on their door and you'll never guess who answered!


Julia Gillard.


So it turns out, according to my dream, that she lives in Tolland heights.
She invited me in, made me a cup of tea and was curious to know if I still worked at Wagga Family Support.
I stood and chatted with her while she was getting ready for work.
Her three children (?!) were in the lounge room watching The Wiggles.
(I can no longer look at the word wiggle without the L looking wriggly.)
For some reason it was all very normal that she knew me. It was as though she was a relative.


I didn't get to find out if the short cut was effective. (David had woken me up before that point by jumping on me.)
I'm probably not going to try it.

Pandoras and Vagina Tees

Did you know that I work in a clothing store?

It's true.

I do.

And like most retail outlets, we get odd balls.

Most days, the odd balls are the ones behind the counter.

Some days though...

Recently, my boss, Kellie ducked out to grab a coffee.

While she was being served, a woman approached her telling her just how lovely she looked.

She was flattered and thanked the woman thinking no more of it.

The woman then took some business cards from her handbag and handed them to Kellie.

Not just two or three, but a large stack of business cards. She then informed Kellie that she was a gemstone and Pandora charm seller. 

Kellie smiled, nodded, grabbed her coffee, came back to work and relayed to story to me.

Close to an hour later, the Pandora seller comes into our store with one of the cleaners that works in our building.

As she blabbered on about the genuine crystals and the beautiful charms that the cleaner was wearing on her incredibly gaudy bracelet (purchased from her, of course) I picked up one of the display bracelets filled with Pandoras to have a closer look.

The first of it's stunning features that I noticed was that the charms were not actual Pandoras, but rather imitation charms. 

(I would describe the quality as "$2 shop", Kellie says more like "found in the bin")

That's ok. Plenty of stores sell imitations. She probably shouldn't tell people that they are Pandoras, though.

The second draw card of this breathtaking item was it's gemstones. The fluorescent orange ones really caught my eye, Kellie said that her favorite was the one coloured like a bumble bee.

Sure, plenty of stores sell plastic shaped like precious stones. They probably don't market them as genuine gemstones, though.

Now, the real kicker was the crystal charm! 

"Real crystals" we were told.

The charm was a plastic circle coved in crystals... or rather, pieces of iridescent glitter that looked as though they had been stuck on with PVA glue.

They were all so beautiful!

Throughout the whole spiel, Kellie and I were biting our lips, nodding and trying very hard not to look at each other. Once the women had left, we burst into a fit of laughter that lasted for the next half hour.

Kellie tells me that her favorite moment was when the Pandora seller introduced herself to me and I just stared at her, wide eyed and vacant.

I tried to explain that I couldn't understand what she was saying and I did mumble some sort of reply, but by the sounds of it I looked like a deer in the headlights.

On a side note. If you are looking for the perfect gift this Christmas, Kellie has some business cards you might be interested in.

Now, while were on the subject of my work place, last week we received some new spring clothing.
One of the items is a t-shirt with a fake pocket.
The "stitched pocket detail" - as it's referred to on the website - looks a little suss.

Now, is it just me or...

Hi Damiano

I'll put a new post up shortly.